You grabbed the rounded container of that poison
and poured it into your
yet-to-be-cursed mouth.
You took in more cubic metres,
hoping to forget
or perhaps murder your guts for men.
You let it whirl
as you danced,
turning yourself into a quandary;
A vulnerable sister,
the reflection of a mourning family.
Each gulp,
a killer of your anger,
But a booster of sorrow
that arose in your ex’s absence.
Your feelings are WhatsApp statuses
he muted.
Say he wasn’t a betrayer;
he is dead.
Do not call his corpse a curse;
he is dead.
Death’s shits’ cure
is true love.
Eyes, red like the emojis
in our yesterday’s chat;
You rolled them faster
like presidential van’s tyres.
Each roll,
an escalation of fear;
Each fear,
a regret for loving him.
Perhaps you forgot your depression
was his favourite comedy show.
You took that poison all night
and smelled like it;
Perhaps it helped ’cause your friends
were tattoos
you wish you never had.
You scratched your skin with a knife
to send them away.
Each cut,
a scream;
Each scream,
a reminder
that you are human
and still alive.
You are weak
and yet you are strong;
The pulses of your heartbeat
are testimonies.
You took that poison
for two more days.
Your mind tricked you
into thinking he was home
And you showed up
with a stunted smile,
Your physique
disguised as a corpse.
You slept
You woke up,
his voice screeching
around your ears.
“He is dead, you know it.
He is dead, you saw it.
He is dead, you don’t look like him.
Your skeleton isn’t in his closet.”
I held your shaking hands
and kissed your forehead.
I wiped away your tears,
my hands lessening your pain.
Our long hug
made your heartbeat slow,
The joint of our heavy breaths
was a reflection of our worries
Yet proof
that death shit’s cure
is true love.
Sweet sister,
I know you still love him
And were trying so hard
to win back his heart
Though his accident became the cat
that devoured your favourite mouse.
But take that poison…
Away from your guts.
I know you never loved it
in those giraffe bottles.
The trash chimney
is ready to swallow it for you.
